So Many Changes...

Recently I've been feeling minor frustration. At times when I try to do things that I used to do quite well, I find myself lacking in ability. It's like I'm getting OLD!!! But I know that's not it. I've been away from most of these things for two whole years. I have a hard time forgiving myself though. When trying to play a song on the piano I used to be able to play very well and easily, I find myself struggling to hit the right cords. When on a date, I find myself not knowing how to act or what to say, or how to interpret my feelings. When trying to do some project on the computer, I find myself forgetting the processes and programs that I would use to accomplish the task, and if I do remember that, I forget how to USE the programs, or the program doesn't exist anymore! I can be hard on myself sometimes.

I feel like I have come home to a different person with a different personality. That I'm not the person that I was before my mission (for which I'm grateful despite the difficulties). I feel that I have to rediscover myself.

If that weren't enough, everyone and everything else has changed too. I feel like I have been reborn, but in a blindsided sort of way. Without warning I entered into this new world.

Luckily, I have wonderful friends and family who care for me deeply and are willing to put up with my awkward, strangeness for a while. (THANKS!) I sincerely believe that this wont last forever, and I'll get used to it. I think the worst part of all of this was that it came upon me by surprise, and I didn't realize it until recently. When that wears off, I'm sure I will be just fine, and, I hope, better than I was before. And that's the Bright-side of life :-D

P.S. Happy Birthday Antonio Vivaldi!